You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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