ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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