I want to have your abortion
i would punch a child for taco bell
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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