I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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