so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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