Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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