what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize