I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
