none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
