Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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