I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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