We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
