Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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