WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
