He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
