so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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