He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
