she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
