i will never coherently bang her
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
