and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
