Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
