In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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