shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
