if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
