Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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