In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
