I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
