Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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