Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
