he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Welp...herpes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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