I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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