We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
