Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
