Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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