woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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