what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
