oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
