So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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