if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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