So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
