as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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