i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize