I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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