Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
