i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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