Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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