I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
