I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
