That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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