just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
