dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
