Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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