i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
