Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
