Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
