all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
