i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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