in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize