there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
