whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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