Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
