you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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