I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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