I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
