she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize